What I've Lost

I have lost many things in my life. There was the sea shells my father plucked from the oceans shore. I miss that. There was the doll he bought me and never gave. He thought I would not want it. There was my virginity. That boy left a many year ago. There was a cousin or two. Both died from bullets. There was a friend or seven, along the way. They moved on. There was an innocence. Some man took it. There was my character. I gave it away. There was my drive. I drove it away. Then there was my family. They were never there. I lost my brother to a girl, and the other to disease. I've lost some money. It comes and goes. I've lost some books. I never read them though. I almost lost my husband. But he decided to stay. Pitty - I'm guessing, for a girl that lost her way. And somewhere in the midst of all these things I lost... I lost the most important thing. My sanity is gone. I know that I pretend. I do put on a show. Sometimes I even mop the floor. I do better when I'm alone. This week I will lose something else. In years to come my children will leave. I keep on losing all I have. Ultimately... I've lost Me.